Fairly Spuds Tails- "Spuds and the Wheatstalk"

Fairly Spuds Tails
"Spuds and the Wheatstalk"
Episode K12



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

A small run-down cottage.

NARRATOR
A long time ago little Spuds lived
with his mother in this small home.
They were very poor and everything
was a struggle. One day Spuds'
mother ran out of delicious ice
cold Bud Light and she sent Spuds
out to trade the family cow for
beer.

Spuds and a nearly dead bony cow exit the cottage and walk
down the country road.

SPUDS
Don't worry old girl you going to
live with a new family and they
will take good care of you.

A tear runs down his cheek. The cow lumbers behind Spuds.

As they make their way around a bend in the road an old
crooked man in a bright blue jacket climbs out of the gutter.

OLD MAN
Afternoon youngster. That is a
mighty fine cow you have there.

SPUDS
Thanks. On my way to town to trade
her for some of that never filling
Bud Light, for my mom of course.

OLD MAN
So your Mom is desperate for the
great taste of Bud Light. A shame
to trade your cow away, what will
you do the next time she runs out?

Spuds shrugs and begins to walk off.

OLD MAN (CONT'D)
Now hold on a second, I might just
have a solution to your problem. I
normally hold on to these for
myself.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out five sparking silver
and blue seeds.

SPUDS
You don't understand my mom needs
beer, not food.

OLD MAN
This are genuine Bud beans. Each
one will grow a tree filled with
cans of Bud-Light.

SPUDS
Really? Well all I have is this
stupid old cow, those seeds must be
worth twenty cows.

The old man pats Spuds on the back.

OLD MAN
I see something special in this
cow, I would give you three beans
for her.

Spuds takes the beans and give the cows leash to the man. The
cow MOOS.

SPUDS
I don't know how to thank you,
unlimited Bud-light my mother's
dreams have been answered.

Spuds runs off down the road and all the way back to the
cottage. He rips open the front door with a huge smile on his
face.

NARRATOR
Spuds mother felt her son had been
duped, no tree would ever give Bud
Light for free. She punished her
son for losing the cow and tossed
the beans out of the house.

The Bud beans fly out the window and into the garden.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)
Spuds cried himself to sleep while
his mother drank all of the
mouthwash. That night something
magical happened.

A long thick stalk of wheat slowly grows out of the garden
and up into the night sky. Night slowing fades into dawn.



INT. SPUDS ROOM

Spuds sleeps on an ironing board in a cramped storage room.
Through a small window the giant stalk of wheat glows in the
sun. The door of the room bursts open.

MRS. MACKENZIE
Spuds! Get out of this house and do
not return without beer.

She chases her son out the front door with a broom.



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

Spuds stumbles out the front door and kicks at the dirt on
the ground.

SPUDS
Shucks and no breakfast!

He starts to head down the road when the stalk catches his
eyes. Does a double take.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
What in tarnation, or should I say
wheat? Hehe it is a giant stalk of
wheat.

Spuds studies the wheat as it pushes thru the clouds and into
the sky. Walks up to it and kicks it, shakes it.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
Seems sturdy, wonder where it goes?
One way to find out.

Spuds begins to shimmy up the stalk. Slowly passing clouds
and birds. Finally pushes thru a think layer.



EXT. CLOUD PLAIN

The stalk ends on a giant cloud platform. A huge castle looms
nearby. Spuds emerges and tests the clouds for support, then
hops off.

SPUDS
Wow!

He turn and stares at the castle.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
Wonder if anyone is home.

He heads off to the castle.



EXT. CASTLE

A giant wooden door towers above Spuds.

SPUDS
Fancy, who lives here?

Spuds KNOCKS on the door and then BARKS. A giant woman opens
the door and glares at Spuds.

GIANTS WIFE
A stray. My husband hates dogs. Go
away.

Spuds sniffs the air smells something, drools.

SPUDS
Is that pizza and chicken wings, it
smells so good.

GIANTS WIFE
Why yes it is little doggie. Are
you hungry?

SPUDS
I have not eaten in days.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh you poor thing. Quick come in
and I will feed you before my
husband gets home.



INT. CASTLE

Spuds devours a plate of pizza and chicken wings and then
licks it clean. The front door of the castle SLAMS.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh dear it is him. Quick hide in
the kegerator.

She grabs Spuds and tosses him into a giant beer fridge.

GIANT
Fee, fi, foe fum. I smell the
stench of an English bulldog. Be he
far or be he near, I'll grind him
up to season my beer.

The giants storms into the kitchen and looks around.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh, honey you are smelling things
again. Just sit down and eat your
dinner.

He sits down and puts a leather bag on the table. She piles
wings and pizza in front of him.

GIANT
You are a good wench.

He pulls a beer out of the bag and pounds it. Spuds peeks out
of the fridge and watches him. The giant drinks beer after
beer with his food, the bag seems to have a never ending
supply. Finally at one point he passes out on the table.

GIANTS WIFE
Quick get out of here.

Spuds crawls out of the kegerator, grabs the bag of beers off
the table and dashes out of the house.



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

Spuds quickly descends the wheat stalk, hops off and dashes
to the cottage. He claws at the door.

SPUDS
Mother, mother come quick I have
beer!

His mother opens the door. She looks like hell and is shaking
from the DTs. Spuds hands her the bag. She looks inside and
smiles.

MRS. MACKENZIE
Oh, my boy. Cans and cans of ice
cold Bud Light. Less filling and
tastes great. We are saved!

She goes back inside and closes the door in Spuds' snout.
Spuds pauses and then looks up at the grain of wheat poking
into the sky.

SPUDS
Plenty of beer until it runs out,
then what?

NARRATOR
What will our hero do? How will he
keep his mother soaked in Bud
Light?
Will he return to the Giant's
castle for more? Tune in next time
to find out, kids!
End Credits