Spuds After Dark- "South of the Border-More Filling"

Spuds After Dark
Episode #2123
"South of the Border-More Filling"



EXT. MEXICAN AIRSTRIP

A small plane lands on a simple airstrip. Spuds hops out of
the plane and looks around. Elko, 30's gritty vet pilot type
steps out behind him. Snyder, 20's big and athletic (Spuds's
tenth partner), trips and falls out of the plane on his face.

ELKO
I will gas up and meet you at the
cantina.

Spuds nods. Snyder dusts himself off and then does some air
kung-fu.

SNYDER
Ready to kick some smuggler ass.

ELKO
Try to keep a low profile, kid.

Spuds trots off towards a small town nearby. Snyder runs to
catch up and trips over some sagebrush.



INT. CANTINA

It fits the bill, tough sweaty dudes wearing bandoliers and
cowboy hats, sexy half-dressed barmaids. The air is thick
with smoke and humidity.

Spuds walks in cool and confident and sits at a table. The
regulars stare at the dog-cum-party animal-cum-vice
detective. The women lick their lips stunned by Spuds'
attitude and smart pastel jacket and coat.

Snyder bursts thru the doors and looks around like a country
boy in the big city. The regulars and disgusted. He sits down
with Spuds. A barmaid comes over.

BARMAID 1
Some drinks for you gentlemen?

SNYDER
Two ice cold Bud-Lights.

BARMAID 1
Exotic tastes, you must be business
men? I will check if we have any.

The fattest, drunkest and meanest of the barflies wobbles
over to Spuds' table.

TOUGH GUY
Grigoes, we drink Mexican beer in
this bar.

He dumps his beer on Snyder's head.

TOUGH GUY (CONT'D)
And your wife will have to wait
outside.

He tires to shoo Spuds out. Spuds stares to him through his
Ray-Bans but does not move. The barmaid returns with two
bottles of El Dub Heavy. Snyder swigs it down. He does a
double take and then spits the beer out all over the tough
guy.

SNYDER
This beer in not ice cold, it does
not taste great and feels filling!

The fight is on. Spuds mule kicks the tough guy and knocks
him out cold. Snyder holds his own with a couple of skinny
guys. Spuds flirts with the ladies. More slapstick fighting.

Police SIRENS BLARE.

Snyder is fighting three guys. Elko dashes in.

ELKO
Spuds, Snyder the fuzz. We need to
run.

SNYDER
You guys go I'll hold them off.

ELKO
We will be back for you kid.

The cops swarm in.
Commercial Break



INT. CANTINA

Spuds tries to rush to Snyder's aide but Elko holds him back.
Thugs beat on Snyder. Elko drags Spuds out a back door. Cops
swarm in and grab Snyder.

MEXICAN COP
Is this the fancy American beer
drinker.

The cop kicks Snyder in the gut.

SNYDER
In the U S of A we like our beer to
have great taste and be less
filling you scum.

MEXICAN COP
Take him to the station.



EXT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT

Small adobe police station and jail. A small barred window is
in back. Spuds and Elko sneak towards it.

Snyder peers thru the bars. The jail cell is in the basement
of the station, about 10 feet below the window. Snyder is
curled up on the floor sleeping.

ELKO
Pssst, kid, wake up.

Snyder stirs, looks at Elko. Spuds moves closer.

SNYDER
Hey it worked! Just like Spuds
planned.

ELKO
The smugglers made contact?

SNYDER
Yeah, they knew I was legit because
of my expensive taste for ice cold
Bud Light.

ELKO
Great job when is the meet?

SNYDER
In an hour they are coming here. We
can get all of the bad dope off of
the street.

Spuds looks over the jail, sniffs the walls. Sneaks around
the station.

ELKO
Looks like he has got a plan, sit
tight.

The front of the station has one large wooden door and two
small windows.
Spuds sneaks a peek thru one and sees that the entire
building is below ground. The two front windows are high
above the room below. Two jailers sit around a table playing
cards.

Spuds dashes off to a nearby bog, points his snout towards a
wheelbarrow.

ELKO (CONT'D)
Fill err up?

Spuds nods and Snyder starts shovelling mud. Spuds runs off
and returns with a long board.

Dashes off again and returns with a long hose. Puts it close
to the jail window.

ELKO (CONT'D)
Mind telling me the plan?

Spuds draws out a map in he dirt for Elko to see.

ELKO (CONT'D)
Brilliant, I will go back to the
plane and attach the hose.

A stretch limo pulls up to the jail. A small overdressed man
gets out and is flanked by two bodyguards. They pull a few
large duffel bags out of the trunk, and enter the jail.

Spuds dashes up after they shut the door and uses the long
board to lock the door shut. He then stars smearing mud all
around the door and door frame sealing any cracks.

Spuds dashes back the window over the jail cell where Elko
waits.

ELKO (CONT'D)
Kid make sure to tell the smugglers
you want to buy all of the bad
dope. Ask if any is left and where
it is.

SNYDER
Alright. What is the plan anyway?

ELKO
Spuds has got something figured
out, so keep a cool head.

Spuds barks and points to the hose and makes and drinking
motion. Then points to the smugglers.

SNYDER
I got it, I think.

The little smuggler and his bodyguards enter the cell.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
Your contacts check out, Mr. Bud
Light. Do you have the money.

SNYDER
It is at the airstrip waiting for
you. Did you bring the dope.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
Of course. We cut it with bleach
and drain-o, did it kill a lot of
your customers?

SNYDER
Yes, I never thought I would be
blackmailed with bad dope. Having
to pay for the good stuff and the
poison just to keep customers
alive.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
Brilliant, No?

SNYDER
I would like to buy all of the bad
dope you have, and then just pay
you off not to make it. Where is
the rest of it.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
I have about 20 kilos in the limo.
The rest we make in this police
station, so we could make some kind
of deal.

SNYDER
Excellent. I smuggled in something
we can use to celebrate. Ice-Cold
great tasting, less filling, All
American Bud Light.

Snyder pulls the hose out from under his bed open the nozzle
and gulps down some beer. Hands it to the smuggler.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
Better than a fine champagne?

He takes a sip passes it to the bodyguards who take a few
pulls.

SNYDER
Would the Policia like some?

Two fat cops waddle in and drink off the hose.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
That is enough.

Snyder tries to shut the nozzle but it is jammed open.

SNYDER
Looks like it is stuck, not much
more beer on the plane would be a
shame to waste it.

Snyder takes another pull hands it to the little smuggler.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
A bit more can't hurt

Spuds and Elko watch with glee. The hose keeps running and
getting passed around. The floor is quickly we with beer.
Everyone is quickly buzzed and in good spirits. Elko looks at
Spuds and shakes his head.

ELKO
When you told me to fill the extra
gas tanks with Ice-Cold Bud Light I
thought you were crazy. Crazy-smart
is more like it.

They high five.

ELKO (CONT'D)
I'll go back to the plane and open
the tap all the way.

Spuds looks back on the jail cell which has devolved into a
drunken homo-erotic scene. All the men are ankle deep in beer
and taking turns spraying each other with beer. They splash
and wrestle and take long chugs off of the hose.

Suddenly beer shoots out like a fully opened fire hose. They
men cannot even hold on to the hose. The bodyguards and cops
are in a beer soaked bliss. The beer level rises. When it hit
the chest of the little smuggler, he realizes something is
wrong.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
I have had enough of this lets go.

He wades out of the cell and towards the front door.

ELKO
I can't watch this. I will go burn
the limo.

Spuds and Elko walk to the front of the jail. Elko starts to
pour gasoline all over the limo. Spuds stares down through
the front window with a cool quiet look.

The little smuggler struggles to climb the stairs with his
muddy feet, falls down a few times. He tires to push the
front door open, then struggles and bashes at it. Snyder
appears behind him.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
You try and trap me?

SNYDER
Are we trapped?

Snyder tries the door with no luck.

LITTLE SMUGGLER
You fool think you can let me drown
and then sneak out?

He dives on Snyder and they fight. The cops and the
bodyguards dogpaddle into the room and try and help while
bobbing in beer. The beer level rises to over nine feet
almost to the windows.

Elko light the limo it starts to burn. Spuds walks up to Elko
and motions in the direction of the airstrip.

ELKO
What about Snyder?

Spuds shakes his head.

ELKO (CONT'D)
Man's best friend?

The start to walk off. The limo explodes.

End Credits

Spuds In Space-New Year New Problem

Spuds in Space
Episode #369Z
"New Year, New Problem"



EXT. SPACE

The Bud Lightship gently orbits a bright blue moon. The moon
circles a huge neon pink planet.



INT. BUD LIGHTSHIP

The halls and decks are quiet and dark. Beer cans,
noisemakers, paper party hats and other "New Years 2130"
ephemera are littered everywhere. Every few feet a crew
member is passed out and sleeping soundly.



INT. BUD LIGHTSHIP BRIDGE

BOTTLE CAP is out cold at his console. SPUDS is snoring
loudly from the command chair. KEGADROID is in deep sleep
mode. RADAR is curled up behind a computer with a half naked
female crew member.

Suddenly Kegadroid springs to life.

KEGADROID
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four,

Bottle Cap's head pops up. Deflated balloons are plastered to
his face.

BOTTLE CAP
Oh shit, we are under attack.
Shield check!

KEGADROID
Three, two, one,

BOTTLE CAP
No!

KEGADROID
New Years greetings to all.

Kegadroid plays some fireworks sounds to music and executes a
dance program. Bottle Cap stands up, sways and then sits back
down.

BOTTLE CAP
New Years? Wasn't that last night?
Oh my head.

KEGADROID
We celebrated New Years in Beta
Delta QPZ45 last night. My internal
clock reset to our current location
where it is now the year 2130.

BOTTLE CAP
Current location? I thought we had
parked for new years? Where are we?

KEGADROID
Location is unknown. A few hours
after the new year, you and Spuds
decided to head out into the
unknown regions in a quest to find
the Ultimate Party Planet. Then you
both fell asleep.

BOTTLE CAP
What? Spuds! Wake up.

Spuds raises he head but his tounge remains stuck to the
armrest of his chair. He make a LOW GROAN.

BOTTLE CAP (CONT'D)
I know boss I may have the worst
hangover of my life. It appears we
relocated the ship last night.

Spuds looks at Bottle Cap in shock.

BOTTLE CAP (CONT'D)
To an unknown location.

Spuds picks up a beer and pours it on his tongue to free it.
Then pours some on his dried out dog nose. Spuds then points
at the main computer display.

BOTTLE CAP (CONT'D)
Radar, status report please.

KEGADROID
Officer Radar is not at his
station, sir.

Bottle Cap picks up the PA.

BOTTLE CAP
RADAR! Report to the bridge ASAP.

A moan and then a female gasp come from behind a computer
bank. The female crew member jumps from hiding and runs off
the bridge. Radar slowly crawls out.

RADAR
Oh god, where am I? What happened
last night?

BOTTLE CAP
Who was that?

KEGADROID
First petty officer Luanne from the
Mess Hall.

BOTTLE CAP
You hooked up with a lunchlady!

Radar rubs his head but does not get off the floor. He then
throws up behind the computer bank.

RADAR
A little better. She is not a
lunchlady, she's a mess officer!

BOTTLE CAP
Same thing. We need a status report
now!

Radar hops up and punches a keyboard.

RADAR
Shields normal, weapons check, hull
normal, water and oxygen check.

BOTTLE CAP
We need our location.

RADAR
Looks like we are having a problem
with the navigation. In fact I kind
of remember you and Spuds pouring
beer on the console in some sort of
magical quest.

BOTTLE CAP
Shit. Any other way to find out
where the hell we are?

RADAR
Scanning nearby planets but getting
nothing, no life, no usable
minerals. Oh dear.

BOTTLE CAP
Hostiles?

RADAR
Worse, we are depleted of
Budtonium, we have about 12 hours
supply left.

BOTTLE CAP
Then what?

RADAR
Adrift in space in an unknown
location.

KEGADROID
Forever.

Spuds yelps and jumps out of his chair. Falls down. Runs over
to Kegadroid and points to the digital time display on his
wrist. Makes a rewind signal with his front paw.

BOTTLE CAP
Spuds is trying to tell us
something.

RADAR
Rewind the security tapes? I swear
the lunch lady gave her consent.

Spuds shakes his head.

KEGADROID
I believe the commander is telling
me to set my clock back.

Spuds nods. Holds up three paws.

RADAR
Set it back three hours? Can you do
that Keg?

Spuds pants with joy.

KEGADROID
I can comply with that command but
I do not understand its logic.

Spuds growls, then runs over and hits a giant blue bottlecap
like button on the command console. Lights flash and sirens
BLARE.

BOTTLE CAP
(Over PA)
Code Bud, Code Bud. All hands,
Party Alert, party alert. We have a
New Years Eve countdown locked in T
minus 2 hours and 48 minutes.

KEGADROID
I am not understanding what is
happening.

Radar digs into a cooler built into the console and pulls out
some ice cold great tasting never filling Bud Light. He
tosses cans to every crew member.

BOTTLE CAP
This is going to be tough.

Spuds sets the example choking down one beer then downing
another. He then wobbles over to Kegadroid and opens the beer
tap on his front panel and chugs directly from the tap.

RADAR
The commander is doing a droid
stand!

BOTTLE CAP
Chug, chug, chug!

Radar and Bottle Cap follow suit doing Droid stands and
pounding beers. Soon the main deck is filled with buzzed crew
members. People mingle and dance and above all drink heavily.

KEGADROID
Radar, I demand to know why we are
doing this. Have we given up and
are partying in the face of certain
death?

RADAR
No, Keg. It is the brilliance of
Spuds. He figures if we can get as
smashed as we did last night.

KEGADROID
By recreating the circumstances of
last nights mistake, the commander
hopes to remedy it? That goes
against any statistical model I can
run.

RADAR
Yeah, it is just crazy enough to
work.

Radar turns to the lunch-lady and makes out with her in the
sloppiest and most obscene way possible. The crew CHEERS him
on. The ship slides into total drunken revelry.

NARRATOR
(VO)
Will our space heroes find their
way back home? Will the risky plan
work? Find out next week Spuds
fans!

Roll End Credits.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)
(VO)
Budwiser does not condone operation
of spacecraft or anyother vehicles
while consuming tasty ice cold Bud
Light. Please enjoy Bud Light's
less filling goodness responsibly.

Fairly Spuds Tails- "Spuds and the Wheatstalk"

Fairly Spuds Tails
"Spuds and the Wheatstalk"
Episode K12



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

A small run-down cottage.

NARRATOR
A long time ago little Spuds lived
with his mother in this small home.
They were very poor and everything
was a struggle. One day Spuds'
mother ran out of delicious ice
cold Bud Light and she sent Spuds
out to trade the family cow for
beer.

Spuds and a nearly dead bony cow exit the cottage and walk
down the country road.

SPUDS
Don't worry old girl you going to
live with a new family and they
will take good care of you.

A tear runs down his cheek. The cow lumbers behind Spuds.

As they make their way around a bend in the road an old
crooked man in a bright blue jacket climbs out of the gutter.

OLD MAN
Afternoon youngster. That is a
mighty fine cow you have there.

SPUDS
Thanks. On my way to town to trade
her for some of that never filling
Bud Light, for my mom of course.

OLD MAN
So your Mom is desperate for the
great taste of Bud Light. A shame
to trade your cow away, what will
you do the next time she runs out?

Spuds shrugs and begins to walk off.

OLD MAN (CONT'D)
Now hold on a second, I might just
have a solution to your problem. I
normally hold on to these for
myself.

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out five sparking silver
and blue seeds.

SPUDS
You don't understand my mom needs
beer, not food.

OLD MAN
This are genuine Bud beans. Each
one will grow a tree filled with
cans of Bud-Light.

SPUDS
Really? Well all I have is this
stupid old cow, those seeds must be
worth twenty cows.

The old man pats Spuds on the back.

OLD MAN
I see something special in this
cow, I would give you three beans
for her.

Spuds takes the beans and give the cows leash to the man. The
cow MOOS.

SPUDS
I don't know how to thank you,
unlimited Bud-light my mother's
dreams have been answered.

Spuds runs off down the road and all the way back to the
cottage. He rips open the front door with a huge smile on his
face.

NARRATOR
Spuds mother felt her son had been
duped, no tree would ever give Bud
Light for free. She punished her
son for losing the cow and tossed
the beans out of the house.

The Bud beans fly out the window and into the garden.

NARRATOR (CONT'D)
Spuds cried himself to sleep while
his mother drank all of the
mouthwash. That night something
magical happened.

A long thick stalk of wheat slowly grows out of the garden
and up into the night sky. Night slowing fades into dawn.



INT. SPUDS ROOM

Spuds sleeps on an ironing board in a cramped storage room.
Through a small window the giant stalk of wheat glows in the
sun. The door of the room bursts open.

MRS. MACKENZIE
Spuds! Get out of this house and do
not return without beer.

She chases her son out the front door with a broom.



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

Spuds stumbles out the front door and kicks at the dirt on
the ground.

SPUDS
Shucks and no breakfast!

He starts to head down the road when the stalk catches his
eyes. Does a double take.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
What in tarnation, or should I say
wheat? Hehe it is a giant stalk of
wheat.

Spuds studies the wheat as it pushes thru the clouds and into
the sky. Walks up to it and kicks it, shakes it.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
Seems sturdy, wonder where it goes?
One way to find out.

Spuds begins to shimmy up the stalk. Slowly passing clouds
and birds. Finally pushes thru a think layer.



EXT. CLOUD PLAIN

The stalk ends on a giant cloud platform. A huge castle looms
nearby. Spuds emerges and tests the clouds for support, then
hops off.

SPUDS
Wow!

He turn and stares at the castle.

SPUDS (CONT'D)
Wonder if anyone is home.

He heads off to the castle.



EXT. CASTLE

A giant wooden door towers above Spuds.

SPUDS
Fancy, who lives here?

Spuds KNOCKS on the door and then BARKS. A giant woman opens
the door and glares at Spuds.

GIANTS WIFE
A stray. My husband hates dogs. Go
away.

Spuds sniffs the air smells something, drools.

SPUDS
Is that pizza and chicken wings, it
smells so good.

GIANTS WIFE
Why yes it is little doggie. Are
you hungry?

SPUDS
I have not eaten in days.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh you poor thing. Quick come in
and I will feed you before my
husband gets home.



INT. CASTLE

Spuds devours a plate of pizza and chicken wings and then
licks it clean. The front door of the castle SLAMS.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh dear it is him. Quick hide in
the kegerator.

She grabs Spuds and tosses him into a giant beer fridge.

GIANT
Fee, fi, foe fum. I smell the
stench of an English bulldog. Be he
far or be he near, I'll grind him
up to season my beer.

The giants storms into the kitchen and looks around.

GIANTS WIFE
Oh, honey you are smelling things
again. Just sit down and eat your
dinner.

He sits down and puts a leather bag on the table. She piles
wings and pizza in front of him.

GIANT
You are a good wench.

He pulls a beer out of the bag and pounds it. Spuds peeks out
of the fridge and watches him. The giant drinks beer after
beer with his food, the bag seems to have a never ending
supply. Finally at one point he passes out on the table.

GIANTS WIFE
Quick get out of here.

Spuds crawls out of the kegerator, grabs the bag of beers off
the table and dashes out of the house.



EXT. COUNTRYSIDE COTTAGE

Spuds quickly descends the wheat stalk, hops off and dashes
to the cottage. He claws at the door.

SPUDS
Mother, mother come quick I have
beer!

His mother opens the door. She looks like hell and is shaking
from the DTs. Spuds hands her the bag. She looks inside and
smiles.

MRS. MACKENZIE
Oh, my boy. Cans and cans of ice
cold Bud Light. Less filling and
tastes great. We are saved!

She goes back inside and closes the door in Spuds' snout.
Spuds pauses and then looks up at the grain of wheat poking
into the sky.

SPUDS
Plenty of beer until it runs out,
then what?

NARRATOR
What will our hero do? How will he
keep his mother soaked in Bud
Light?
Will he return to the Giant's
castle for more? Tune in next time
to find out, kids!
End Credits

Spuds After Dark- "Cats in the Water"

Spuds After Dark
Episode 321Z
"Cats in the water"



EXT. CITY OF LOS ANGELES - NIGHT

The city sparkles

NARRATOR
Los Angeles, city of angels. At
night lurks one demon for each
angel. At night they prey on the
weak and the desperate. One Dog
stands strong fighting to maintain
the balance between good and evil.
This is his Story....Spuds After
Dark.
Title Credits



EXT. STREETS OF LA - NIGHT

A black BMW SCREAMS with speed. In pursuit is a Silver, Blue
and White muscle car. The two cars cut and slash thru the
city.



INT. SPUD'S CAR

A pale and panicked passenger holds on for dear life, he is
PARTNER #11 a rookie detective. SPUDS is at the wheel cool
and collected despite the extreme speed.

PARTNER #11
Aren't you going to call for
backup?

Spuds ignores him, kicks the car into fifth gear.

PARTNER #11 (CONT'D)
Have you lost your mind?



EXT. STREETS OF LA

Spuds pulls next to the BMW, looks at the driver thru his Ray
Bans. A frightened YOUNG WOMAN is in the passenger seat. The
driver pulls out a gun and aims it at Spuds. The breaklights
on the muscle car go red and they dodge the gunfire.



INT. SPUD'S CAR

Partner #11 wipes sweat from him brow, breathes deep.

PARTNER #11
You are going to kill us both
trying to save one hooker.

Spuds shoots him a look like he is about to bite.

PARTNER #11 (CONT'D)
OK. I know she is a victim of
Draco's human trafficking ring, but
we can't save every future Ho.

Spuds pushes the car to its limit, dodging back and forth.
They fly over a bridge. The BMW stays just out of reach.

PARTNER #11 (CONT'D)
That's it all I can take.
(Picks up Radio)
Dispatch, you are going to need to
find a new partner for this animal.

He jumps out of the car over the side of the bridge and into
the water. Spuds does not even blink.



EXT. STREETS OF LA

The BMW has pulled away from Spuds. He turns off into a
residential neighborhood. Races down, knocking over trash
cans, blowing out car windows.

Spuds tears through a few backyards then jumps a small
section of the LA river. He lands on the other side, skids to
a halt blocking the road.

Spuds sits on the hood of his car and watches the BMW
approach.



INT. BMW

At the wheels is Spuds nemesis, DRACO EL BUCHO a
Cuban/Mexican/Soviet crime lord. He smacks the woman beside
him with the back of his hand.

DRACO EL BUCHO
Silly puppy, I don't break for
dogs,

He slams down on the gas and the car GROANS with excitement.

DRACO EL BUCHO (CONT'D)
Or babies.



STREETS OF LA

The BMW screams at Spuds, who sits motionless. The entire
road is blocked by Spuds' car. The BMW looks ceratin to blow
Spuds to smithereens.



INT. BMW

DRACO EL BUCHO
Ha, ha, ha. Goodbye Spuds you were
almost a worthy adversary.

YOUNG WOMAN
Don't hit the cute dog, No!

She tries to grab the wheel, but Draco pistol whips her,
knocking her out cold.



STREETS OF LA

With only a few meters left, Spuds reaches into his jacket
and pulls out an ice cold Bud Light. He tosses it at the
windshield of the car and it explodes foam everywhere.

The BMW loses controls swerves left and right smashing into
concrete barriers on either side. The car them slams into the
right barrier flips over and into the LA river.

Spuds dashes to the edge of the river and looks down. Draco
breaks thru the surface, coughs and starts to swim to the
other side.

Spuds takes one last look, tosses his Ray-Bans aside and
dives in. He doggie paddles towards Draco then stops.

A chopper circles overhead. Spuds dives under the water. The
chopper circles Draco and then drops a ladder. Draco
struggles to reach it.



INT. UNDERWATER

The BMW rests on the river bottom. The Young Woman is out
cold in the passenger seat. Spuds swims up sees her thru the
window, jerks open the door. He uses his teeth to rip her
seat belt off, then grabs the woman by the back of her neck
and swims to the surface.



EXT. LA RIVER

An ambulance and police cars shine their lights on Spuds.
Nearby Draco has just gotten hold of the ladder.

POLICE CHIEF BAGGINS
(Over Megaphone)
McKenzie drop the girl and get
Draco. This is the closest we will
ever get.

Spuds pauses for a second, looks at Draco.

DRACO EL BUCHO
I thought cats hated water, you are
all wet as usual Spuds.

Spuds shakes his head in disgust, and then drags the woman
towards the pulsating lights of the ambulance.

POLICE CHIEF BAGGINS
Damnit Spuds he is about to get
away!

DRACO EL BUCHO
Ha! You cannot teach a dog an old
trick!

Draco climbs to the chopper and flies off.

The EMTs take the woman from Spuds and wrap her in a blanket.
Spuds shakes off all the tepid river water, all over
everyone.

CROWD OF COPS
SPUDS! Not again!

Spuds trots to his car and opens the trunk, it is full of ice
cold Bud Light. The cops start to help themselves.

POLICE CHIEF BAGGINS
MacKenzie! Your partner couldn't
swim! That is the third one this
month.

Spuds ignores him hops in his car and hits the stereo. Upbeat
Salsa MUSIC BLARES. The Chief storms off muttering to
himself.

The woman runs from the EMTs to Spuds, hugs him.

YOUNG WOMAN
Thank you, you saved my life...and
my virginity!

Spuds grins and the cops raise a toast and cheer.

YOUNG WOMAN (CONT'D)
Mr. Spuds if there is anything
I can ever do for you.

SPUDS
Bark.

The two walk to his car and drive off.
End Credits

Spuds in Space
Episode #432A
"In Space No One Can Hear You Party"



EXT. SPACE

A view of the Bud Lightship a beer bottle shaped rocket ship.

NARRATOR
When we last saw out intrepid space
heroes they had narrowly escaped
the evil Teetotalers. In the
process the outer air-lock door was
jammed and Commander Spuds was
trapped outside.



INT. BUD LIGHTSHIP

A sleek modern spaceship with heavy Budweiser branding. Crew
members run around in a panic.

BOTTLE CAP
I already told you Spuds is the
only one who can repair the
airlock, the jam is outside, and
his radio is dead.

RADAR
Totalers have a lock on us, they
will be here in five minutes.

Consoles blink and BEEP warnings.

KEGADROID
Escape and survival of the
Commander is improbable. We need to
depart now.

Bottle Cap slams his fist on the console.

BOTTLE CAP
Never leave a wounded solider
behind, they taught us that on the
first day of the academy, you
damned heartless robot.

RADAR
Look there's Spuds.

Spuds floats in front of the large windows on the bridge of
the ship. He pulls a Bud Light Zero Gravity from his
spacesuit.

BOTTLE CAP
This is no time for a beer.

Spuds sucks from the aluminum beer bag straw quickly draining
it. He then rips the bag open.

RADAR
I guess that was his goodbye chug.

Spuds starts to use the bag like a mirror flashing the crew
with sunlight.

BOTTLE CAP
What is he trying to do? Blind us?

KEGADROID
The Commander is using Morse
Code...an ancient form of
communication using audio or visual
dots and dashes and early form of
digital communications.

RADAR
Do you speak it, Keg?

KEGADROID
Of course, my data-tapes can access
over 44 languages, the Commander
says, "Everyone drink a bud light"

The crew looks at eachother...amused and confused. Spuds give
a drink up sign. Everyone pounds a beer.

KEGADROID (CONT'D)
"Now drink another. Music, dance
music with heavy base, full
volume."

As the crew drinks the MUSIC kicks on.

RADAR
Three minutes until intercept!

KEGADROID
"Now dance, and party like your
life depends on it, because it
does."

The crew begins to half-heartedly dance.

KEGADROID (CONT'D)
"I said dance damnit, that is a
direct order."

Heavy funky dancing ensuses. Spuds floats out of view.



EXT. SPACE

It is Silent in the vacuum of space. Spuds floats towards the
airlock, a piece of metal is jammed in the handle. He puts a
paw against the ship.

The ship is vibrating, Spuds grins. Drinks a beer. He watches
the vibration slowly shake the jammed metal loose. It falls
free and Spuds dives into the airlock.



INT. BUD LIGHTSHIP

The crew is dancing and dripping sweat. Spuds runs into the
center of the dance floor, does a break-dancing move.
Everyone cheers. Spuds points at Radar makes a hit the road
sign.

RADAR
Aye, aye captain, full speed ahead!

NARRATOR
The lightship escapes and returns
once again to its mission of bring
the original party spirit to the
outer reaches of the universe.